Tomorrow I drive back to Dallas, officially marking the end of the summer for me. I have enjoyed laying around and being (wayyyy too) lazy at home in Victoria, but I have reached my doing-nothing threshold and must return to productivity.
Today I have been reflecting on what I have learned this summer, and what lessons have come home to continue being learned. The biggest on going lesson is about getting settled. A wise man once told me that no matter what is going on in life, I will never feel fully settled. Growing up and settling down isn't all that it's made out to be. I believed it, but Father has been giving me ample opportunity to be reminded of that.
Summer 2013 was a really good one, a really sweet one. I know I have painted it as more challenging at times than it actually was. When we were in Madrid, I never truly felt settled. I let that annoy me. I allowed myself to gripe and complain about things that weren't really that bad in the scheme of things. I didn't seek refuge in Father. I didn't make myself stop and rest in the right Place. I wasn't steadfast in pr, continuing in it watchfully with thanksgiving. I didn't take a whole lot of time to be thankful at all. That's where I messed up. I believed the lie that to function well I must be comfortable, settled, and have things my way. If I had really sat down and pr'ed about things, HS would have opened my eyes to these things. I could have been encouraging to others, instead I focused on myself and only brought people down.
Every time I have taken the time to truly reflect on my summer, I am humbled. I am humbled that I was able to be used despite me. That's what He does best. He is able to accomplish his purposes even when we fail. His strength is made perfect in our weakness, whether we a walking well or not. Of course, it's better when we are but he's Gd and does what he knows is best.
This summer was very much a season of learning. I did more learning and watching that I have done maybe ever. I grew used to being the one with answers and wisdom. I tried to do things out of experience this summer rather than dependence on Father. And I missed out on things because of it.
I am reminded that though I am inadequate, He is more than able to do more than I can ask or imagine. I am reminded I weaver at ever step but His steadfast love endures forever.
I am faithless, but He is faithful. He cannot deny himself. He makes the rough places smooth and the dark places light.
He is good.
In late July, the apartment next to mine and Sarah's was struck by lightning and caught fire. Fortunately, ours was not burned at all but does have smoke damage. As of this moment, our apartment still is not repaired. Father has provided much in all of this, like a places to stay and friends in the restoration business to walk us though all of this. I share all of that not to find pity, but to tell you that I'm not done learning yet. Father is allowing me to walk through this to learn about settling in him, not my surroundings. One of the things I was most looking forward to coming home was returning to a place of my own. Right now, I still don't have that. I'm not quite done living out of a suitcase. He's giving me a second chance to learn what I did not in Madrid. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn, but I do wish he could have used other methods. Wishing things were different crippled me this summer. I can no longer dwell in that. This is how it is. I must seek JC, depend on him, cry out to him, trust him fully. He has given me a unique opportunity to do that. I pr that I will learn it well this time so we can move on to what's next.
Thank you for all your prs and support this summer. These are the things that got me through. I knew I had brothers and sisters coming before our great Father for me, for the cities I was in, and the students I was blessed to walk with. Please continue to pr for the students as they return to school. Pr they will not conform back to who they were before their trip, but would truly be transformed in to looking more like JC every day. Pr for every person we were able to pr for or talk to. Thank Father that he is still working to draw them all to himself. Pr for our friends who are living in these cities, for encouragement, guidance, and strength.
I love you all.
Today I have been reflecting on what I have learned this summer, and what lessons have come home to continue being learned. The biggest on going lesson is about getting settled. A wise man once told me that no matter what is going on in life, I will never feel fully settled. Growing up and settling down isn't all that it's made out to be. I believed it, but Father has been giving me ample opportunity to be reminded of that.
Summer 2013 was a really good one, a really sweet one. I know I have painted it as more challenging at times than it actually was. When we were in Madrid, I never truly felt settled. I let that annoy me. I allowed myself to gripe and complain about things that weren't really that bad in the scheme of things. I didn't seek refuge in Father. I didn't make myself stop and rest in the right Place. I wasn't steadfast in pr, continuing in it watchfully with thanksgiving. I didn't take a whole lot of time to be thankful at all. That's where I messed up. I believed the lie that to function well I must be comfortable, settled, and have things my way. If I had really sat down and pr'ed about things, HS would have opened my eyes to these things. I could have been encouraging to others, instead I focused on myself and only brought people down.
Every time I have taken the time to truly reflect on my summer, I am humbled. I am humbled that I was able to be used despite me. That's what He does best. He is able to accomplish his purposes even when we fail. His strength is made perfect in our weakness, whether we a walking well or not. Of course, it's better when we are but he's Gd and does what he knows is best.
This summer was very much a season of learning. I did more learning and watching that I have done maybe ever. I grew used to being the one with answers and wisdom. I tried to do things out of experience this summer rather than dependence on Father. And I missed out on things because of it.
I am reminded that though I am inadequate, He is more than able to do more than I can ask or imagine. I am reminded I weaver at ever step but His steadfast love endures forever.
I am faithless, but He is faithful. He cannot deny himself. He makes the rough places smooth and the dark places light.
He is good.
In late July, the apartment next to mine and Sarah's was struck by lightning and caught fire. Fortunately, ours was not burned at all but does have smoke damage. As of this moment, our apartment still is not repaired. Father has provided much in all of this, like a places to stay and friends in the restoration business to walk us though all of this. I share all of that not to find pity, but to tell you that I'm not done learning yet. Father is allowing me to walk through this to learn about settling in him, not my surroundings. One of the things I was most looking forward to coming home was returning to a place of my own. Right now, I still don't have that. I'm not quite done living out of a suitcase. He's giving me a second chance to learn what I did not in Madrid. I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn, but I do wish he could have used other methods. Wishing things were different crippled me this summer. I can no longer dwell in that. This is how it is. I must seek JC, depend on him, cry out to him, trust him fully. He has given me a unique opportunity to do that. I pr that I will learn it well this time so we can move on to what's next.
Thank you for all your prs and support this summer. These are the things that got me through. I knew I had brothers and sisters coming before our great Father for me, for the cities I was in, and the students I was blessed to walk with. Please continue to pr for the students as they return to school. Pr they will not conform back to who they were before their trip, but would truly be transformed in to looking more like JC every day. Pr for every person we were able to pr for or talk to. Thank Father that he is still working to draw them all to himself. Pr for our friends who are living in these cities, for encouragement, guidance, and strength.
I love you all.
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